So many ways ways to fuck up, Jesus.
Did I miss a single trick? Nope, not in this life.
No one trick pony here, that’s fer sure.
I know all the tricks, every last one, damn it.
Not that any of them work, not even a single one.
And you know what I know? Not much.
I know a lot of things I don’t know, so many things
I know a lot of things I can’t do, so many more things
I know all kinds of things that will never be, like that’s a surprise
And I know that it’s all my own damn fault.
So what good does any of this do? Really.
She won’t believe me if I try, not again
She won’t believe me if I don’t, like she can tell the difference
There’s no great mystery here, just the odd lie
Can’t ask her for any more, not no more no how.
Mother, you should have loved me with a more critical love
You could have prepared me to understand what I didn’t get right
Yeah, it was all your fault when I was 10, maybe
But that was a long, long time ago – more than a generation ago
In the last millennium, before I wanted to die.
It would just be a lot easier for everybody
To take the burden of me off the universe, a real bargain
I have no great excuse really, just about everybody else does better
I do worse, same as always, nothing to see here.
It’s no surprise she’s given up on me.
Maybe she forgave me too much and too often.
But I can’t fault her for that, or anything really
She stood by me past any kind of common sense
And now when she’s come to her senses
I have nothing, hell, I don’t even have a reason to complain.